another sex tutorial

Anxiety is often the cause of premature ejaculation. In an extramarital relationship a man may ejaculate as soon as he penetrates his partner's vagina, despite the fact that he does not have this problem with his wife. This is a sign of guilt. A man may also ejaculate before he wishes to if he feels frightened that his technique is not good enough, and ejaculating quickly will prevent him from having to reveal his lack of experience.

Believing that sex is bad because of what you were told as a child is another possible cause of premature ejaculation. If as a boy, you were punished for masturbating, you may have taught yourself to come quickly to lessen the chance of being found out and to minimize the guilt you felt at your own pleasure.

Fear of getting too close to another person may also be a contributing factor. Intimacy always brings with it the risk of loss, and the unbearable pain attendant on that loss. Subconsciously, a man who gets sex over with quickly may be trying to protect himself from close emotional involvement.

Several techniques can help men last longer, and these should be used in conjunction with examining the cause of the problem. Understanding what is wrong often brings its own release.

The aim of these exercises is to learn to keep yourself below the point at which ejaculation seems inevitable for as long as possible. Men who do not have a partner can practice the first three steps. In them selves, they will help you gain a greater measure of control. For the final four steps you will need the co-operation of a partner.

* Step one Masturbate with a dry hand. Avoid fantasizing, and concentrate instead on the sensation in your penis. Allow the pleasure to build up but stop immediately you feel you are about to lose control. Relax for a while, still keeping your mind free of fantasies, until the danger of ejaculation has passed, then begin again. Following the same pattern, aim to continue stopping and starting for 15 minutes without orgasm. You may not be able to manage it at first, but keep trying. As you get more practiced, you will probably find you have to stop less often. When you have completed three 15-minute sessions on three consecutive occasions (not necessarily one immediately after the other!), proceed to step two.

The 'squeeze' action is designed to cause your erection to subside, and it can be applied every time you get too close to ejaculation. Your partner performs the squeeze by gripping your penis firmly, and pressing with her thumb on the frenulum. This is the place on the underside of the penis where the head joins the shaft. At the same time, she presses on the opposite side of the penis with her forefinger, and with her other fingers curled round the shaft. It is important that she presses fairly hard on the penis and doesn't move her hand while doing so. Too light a touch could cause you to ejaculate straight away.

* Step one Get your partner to masturbate you with a dry hand. Any time you get too close to ejaculation, signal to her to stop and squeeze your penis. As with the stop-start technique, aim to last for three consecutive 15minute sessions before moving on to step two.

* Step five you are now ready to try other positions, but remember that with the man on top, you will have least control. As with the stop-start technique, during intercourse you should focus all attention on yourself. Your partner will not feel neglected if you bring her to orgasm orally or manually either before or after intercourse.

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