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MasturbationMasturbation is a natural and healthy method of sexual release engaged in by most
people of both sexes. It is also a good way of learning one's own sexual response. Women
who can bring themselves to orgasm by masturbating are more likely to have orgasms with
their partners, and men who can masturbate for 15-20 minutes without ejaculating are less
likely to suffer from problems of premature ejaculation during intercourse. Stimulating
your partner's genitals is also called masturbation, and is an important part of
lovemaking.
The external female genitals are called the vulva.
Pubic hair grows on the labia major, and inside these outer vaginal lips are the labia
minor, which are pinker and moister. If the sight of your own genitals is not familiar to
you, examine them in a hand mirror while you relax after a bath or shower. The clitoris is
situated where the labia minor join at the top. It is a pink knob about the size of a
dried pea, and is highly sensitive. The clitoris is protected by a hood, which retracts
during sexual arousal. Below the clitoris is the tiny opening of the urethra, through
which urine passes, and below that is the opening to the vagina.
When you start to masturbate, make sure you have
plenty of time during which you won't be interrupted. Go somewhere where it is quiet,
completely private, and warm. Some women like to lie on their back, some on their front;
some like their legs pressed tightly together, others like them spread wide apart, or
propped up above the body. Use a lubricant and stroke yourself gently, with your fingers
or an object such as a vibrator, varying your movements from time to time to find out
where and how you like to be stimulated.
Many women find the clitoris too sensitive for
direct stimulation, so you could begin by rubbing the whole vulva, then gradually move
inside with delicate fingers. Allow yourself to fantasize to increase arousal. Be patient,
but if the pleasure wears off without you having had an orgasm then you should stop. Don't
be disappointed with yourself, as it may take several sessions before you can relax enough
to really let go.
When you feel a gathering tension in the vaginal
area and a build-up of warmth, orgasm is on the way. Continue to stimulate yourself, as if
you stop, these sensations will fade and it may be difficult to get them back again. The
clitoris becomes increasingly sensitive as you proceed, whether you are stimulating it
directly or not, and then orgasm breaks out with waves of vaginal contractions. Most women
like some form of genital contact during orgasm: either continued stimulation or pressing
or holding the vaginal area. Some like to insert a finger into the vagina as they come.
Most men
are expert at giving themselves pleasure, but there's
no harm in extra practice. A good way of finding out exactly how your genitals respond to
stimulation is by soaping and gentle massage in the bath, allowing yourself to fantasize
as you do so. Some men enjoy fondling their testicles, and some enjoy penetrating the anus
with a finger. There are many different strokes you can use on the penis. If you are
uncircumcised, you can draw the foreskin over the head of the penis and then pull it back
down the shaft to get an erection; if you are circumcised, repeated squeezing round the
shaft and letting go is usually effective. Then you can let your hand glide up and
down the shaft in long slow movements, gradually building up speed and pressure. You may
enjoy rubbing or tickling the glans of the penis, though for some men this is too
sensitive. You may like gentle or firm pulling, stroking, squeezing and stretching. Try
holding off ejaculation by varying the stroke when you become too excited, before finally
letting go in orgasm.
Masturbation need
not be something that you do only when you are alone. Many people find the sight of their
partner masturbating highly erotic. It can also be very instructive to discover how your
partner reaches orgasm alone, as this will be the best method for you to adopt when you
are masturbating him or her. Masturbating with your partner will break down inhibitions
and allow you to get even closer.
Masturbating your partner in the way he or she
enjoys is an important part of lovemaking, and many women like being masturbated to orgasm
before penetration. Both men and women need to learn how to handle each other's genitals
with tenderness and sensitivity.
HOW TO GIVE THE PERFECT HAND
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